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I'm str8 up Gangsta

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Im reuniting with old habits./INAUGURATION 09 [20 Jan 2009|01:25pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]


Well hello and how I've missed my LJ so much! I'm back because I feel as if I dont have anyone to talk to really...so heres been my life summed up :
Im now almost 20 years old, Ive been out of school for almost three years AND WE FINALLY HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT : BARACK OBAMA!! Today i witnessed history in the making!!
we also hit $3.00 A GALLON FOR GAS THIS PAST SUMMER! then it went down to 1. 95!! ..now its goin back up..fuckin A..
I finaly have my own apartment out in Wixom MI , been living there for the last 8 months with my current boyfriend Gaelen. we had a lil family wit 2 cats..but we almost got evicted so George and Rascal had to go :(
.I'm so lost right  now...I love him to death..but my old habits die hard...( P.D.) We still dont have a baby..so whoever thunk I would get knocked up right after HS..kiss my ass.

I've gotten a much more independent outlook on my life..." Dont worry, I GOT IT"..just like jamie foxx say :) I got my own house, own car, a job and i work hard, and i look gooood too. I'm trying to figure out exactly whats best for me right now and im stuck in between a rock and a hard place..i wanna stay wit G but i just feel like i need my own space right about now. We been attached at the hip for over a year and a half now..and he still cant get enough of me. I love him to death i really do, but some of the things he reacts to and shit he does truely drives me mad to the point of calling it quits..but the only thing is i cant get the balls to do it. .Im emotionally attached to him and i dont know how to cut that loose.

My 20th birthday is less than a month away and im doin me this time to..My new years was nothing how  i wanted it to be..( got way to drunk to even say happy new year when midnight struck! lol SO this year..maybe reserve A VIP section somewhere downtown at a club then just dance the night away like i always love to do and just enjoying being a young adult. wow..20 years old..ew..im gettin old so fast..

Theres so much i need to do.. I need to find a second job..and dancing doesnt sound so bad right bout now that the economy sucks asss. somebody needs to step up and take care of his girl b4 somebody else finds me and does it better!! ..but im not pose to say anything..just sit and smile right..naw F that. You aint buy me shit..why??? ur supposed to be my man right??> THEN ACT LIKE ONE UR 22 YEARS OLD MY NIGGA!! commonnnn now..

ugh...Idk I just felt like venting on this old ass shit again lol. my how times changed. but hey..im still out here in the world tryn to make it and keep my head up..and i still smoke to much weed. lol but never gonna quiteeeeeee love it..

i miss my niggas ; charlese, chelsea, brittany, stacey, diona, wally, jarron, paymon i miss my homies...for reallll i need to get out..i need to know that the grass will b greener on the other side..cuz im loosin all hope and patience in me and everything around me...

 

Look at the stars.

ill never ever find a man like you [11 Nov 2006|03:51am]
I had a D in English. Now i have an A.. i rock yo

Schools..same old dumb ish and ppl talkin as usuall..but WHATEVERRR. 

ummm im kinda freakin out about college...idk what i want to do with my life..

Im doin pretty much all my work tho..so my grades should be gettin better which is a good thing. 

lj. is pretty much dead right now...

i have paymons whole freakin last name written on my arm..i work tonight..thank got its 

my moms here.
1 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

I need you tonight, i need you right now. [13 Aug 2006|01:39am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i cant even believe it.

honestly i truely have the worst luck ever with anything and anyone. and im really fed up with all of this right now.

the one person i really need to talk to right isnt around.

maybe she can use that 20 to buy a shirt that actually covers somethin ya?

im sick to my stomach right now.
im glad you care..u have the sweetest ways of showing it. thanks so much.

its probaly gonna be another long night..great.

school needs to hurry up and start. im over summer. it changes people. 
i cant wait for school 7-2/work 3-9/home/bed ( repeat) im excited to be busy and working. i have to get out of here.  and sep. 5 needs to be here like asap.

that want..to feel it again is back right now...and everything within me is tryin to not break that one year goal.

now im glad to be goin to work..keep my mind off everything and focus on getting people stupid coffee's and teas. 


Step Up was a super good movie and Channing Tatum is amazing. but it made me even more lonely and annoyed with being single. thats okay im used to it tho. 


i want so much to happen but i cant even say the words im scared of what ur response would be. 

everything sucks right now.

good nite.

3 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[21 May 2006|04:45pm]
stupid me got like all my numbers deletedddddddddd

stacey i need urs 
i need mcmasters
mikes
craigs
johns
fjdskal;fsdjakfl;sdja
3 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

gimme a break [22 Nov 2005|09:26pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

1st hr...lame did some stupid crossword search
2nd hr....interview talked all hour
3rd hr... watched aladdin <3333 tell me why im the 2nd oldest n the class and im liek signing along and bouncing n my seat to the songs best math class everrr
lunch...chilled n A hour
4th hr...econ..talked w/ katrena jennifer and darryl all hr cuz were bad and didnt do our essays..i have a B in that class
5th hr...h.w...
6th..free time

after school me katrena and paymon hung out at the park and through the woods then we went to taco bell for like a 1/2 hr and txt niecy then we went to " paymons hood" aka his grandmas house ...where i unexpectedly met his family...very welcoming people and they all know about me I <3 them and i dont even kno them..not even my grandma knows bout him lol
then we went back to the park for a few minutes, then to katrenas hoouse cuz i had to peeee like a racehorse, then we went to the Empty Bowl Dinner thing up at the school had a few bites of some banana bread and cornbread some chili and some ciggarette tasting bean soup hung out there till like 7ish then went BACK to katrenas house, cuddled, did some prank phone calls and then dropped paymon off and now im here watchin ATNM today i thought was gonna be a sucky day but it was really good..after school anyways

somebody needs some Zoloft, Lexapro or Wellbutren...im sick of the random spaz bitchy moods ppl pull on me u know who u are.

the fact that im sleeping in tommrow and i havnt done that in forever makes me sooo happy..and im even staying up late..holler back my gs

amy what are we doing this weekend? ps. i have $0 to my name.

everybody have a great thanksgiving and eat lots of food get really sleep watch some sports and holler at me on my cellular

peace

2 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[28 May 2005|04:45pm]
i just want to dissapear.
3 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[26 Apr 2005|07:22pm]

I got a little ADD and started making a collage. I hope it works..

We will still be friends forever...Collapse )

5 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[25 Apr 2005|12:28pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
4 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[10 Apr 2005|09:55pm]

Ellie Goodrow

4-11 Hobbs – Calhoun 6th hr

Hn. English

Bleeding for Perfection

 

She was the girl that everybody loved

The one that had heads turning when she entered a room

She was the only one that knew her obsession.

Her obsession with perfection to show the world.

Everything was just right, clothes from the hottest stores, hair perfectly in place and a smile to cover up the pain.

Nobody knew that behind those crystal blue eyes and pearly white smile was a girl that went home every day to a family of utter chaos and pain.

She would put it all behind her as her world turned upside down.

She has it all together, perfect was her middle name, and she’s got not a care in the world

But behind close doors she was the girl who did the taboo to talk about cutting on her skin.

She was the one who knew how to please the crowds but hated waking up to her worst enemy, herself.

All she wanted was to be embraced by somebody who loved her and somebody who cared.

Instead she lived her days alone and crying for help with that smile so deceiving.

Her mother passed out on the living room floor and dad always out of town

She had nobody to tell her good job, and nobody to ask her how she was, instead she wrote her feelings of pain on her wrists and covered it up with a smile.

Nothing could stop her, she was just fine, and she had not a care in the world till she shut those doors and revealed the pain to herself.

But in the morning it was a different story, of a girl who knew nothing but perfection and happiness.

Hiding was what she was good at, her days were filled with hugs and kisses she handed out as if there was no tomorrow.

But when tomorrow came it was the same thing to her, bleeding for perfection.

 

 

mmm yep thats my poem, i get to read that on wednesday im scerrrd.

5 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

god bless [02 Apr 2005|03:16pm]
RIP Pope John Paul II


4-2-05
4 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[02 Apr 2005|01:42pm]

 

Never been to church but u callin on the Lord now - sSirPlusCollapse )

2 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[22 Mar 2005|10:30pm]
I love my friends. God bless each and everyone of you guys.

*oh my stars* what a nite - last day of seg. 2 , walkin around sears , taking pics w/ amy and randy in the picture booth, loosing rich, seeing my friendsss* mmm fun.


Thechildunwanted: hello segment two graduate - thatttts me.

:)

good nite..

I'm leaving for DC thursday. ill miss u all.

leave some comments for me to enjoy when i come back :)
1 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

Backstreets Back ARIGHT [05 Mar 2005|09:54pm]

They have a heart in your spot ur just to lame to admit it

 

ill never break ur heartCollapse )

3 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[04 Mar 2005|10:32pm]

You've got this silly way of keepin me on the edge of my seatCollapse )

Look at the stars.

[27 Feb 2005|07:53pm]
[ mood | tired ]

What time did you get up this morning? 9 somethin
Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Coach Carter?
What's your favorite TV show? Laguna Beach, The OC <3, Fashion Week on STyle Network..yea

What did you have for breakfast? I dont like ever eat breakfast but today I had a piece of pizza ..yuck
What's your favorite cuisine? Mexican? Italian <3
What foods do you dislike? Asparagus, Broccilli, Steak, Carrots, Vannilla Ice Cream, Spinach, Potatoes mashed,Ruffled Potatoe chips, Cantalope, Watermelon, brussile sprouts, fish, sushi, penut butter and jelly, ham, turkey, bologne, Honey due, purple grapes, red apples, milk..i could go on for forever...
What is your favorite chips flavor? Potatoe
What's your favorite CD at the moment? mwahah - omarion " O " cd :) i fell in love with it online

What kind of car do you drive? My mommys gross van
Favorite sandwich? I dont eat sandwiches all that mauch
What characteristic(s) do you despise? fakeness, stuck up snobs, cocky people, people w/ extreme attitudes

Favorite item of clothing? Hoodies
If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Mexico?
What color is your bathroom? white?
Favorite brand of clothing? hollister. <3
Where would you retire to? Californ I A
Favorite time of the day? when im sleeping
What was your most memorable birthday? my 14th
Where were you born? The D
Favorite sport to watch? I dont watch sports, but i like watching hot boys play sports...
Last time you had sex? right this very second..oh baby baby
Age you lost your virginity? 74839242
What fabric detergent do you use? ummmm
Were you named after anyone? Nope :)

Do you wish on stars? not really

Do you like your handwriting? I hate my handwriting

What is your most embarrassing CD? I dont have any i can think of right now
If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? heck yes.
Are you a daredevil? depends on what im being dared to do.. I think for the most part yes.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes
Do looks matter? they do, but looks arnt the only thing.
How do you release anger? ....
Where is your second home? my room
What was your favorite toy as a child? Legos
What class in high school do you think was totally useless? history
Favorite movies? Napolean Dynamite, Mean Girls, Corky Ramano..yea, i cant think of any more right now

What are your nicknames? El, Ellie Bellie, EL Bel, Lil E, SHorty,Elinore, L-train
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no
Do you think that you are strong? hahahahah.
What's your favorite ice cream flavor? Superman?
What are your favorite colors? green, pink, black
What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My thighs...stomach butt
Who do you miss the most? Kristin, Ashley Valiz, Chris Bailey
What color pants are you wearing? Pink
What are you listening to right now? The TV
Last thing you ate? A jolly rancher
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Hot Pink
Last person you talked to on the phone? Lamar
What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Face
Favorite Drink? Tea
Do you wear contacts? Yes, sometimes i just hate poking them in my eye
Favorite Day(s) of the Year? THe last day of school, Christmas, My bday
Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Both
Summer or winter? SUMMER are you kidding...
Hugs or Kisses? both please
What Is Your Favorite Dessert? I dunno
What Book(s)Are You Reading? none
What's On Your Mouse Pad? Nothing its plain green
What Did You Watch Last night on TV? americas next top model, mtv
Favorite Smells? Cologne: Curve, Abercrombie, Hollister, Dolce & Gabbana ,Candies, Victorias Secretlove spell
Rolling Stones or Beatles? umm Rolling Stones cuz i like the tounge thing
What's the furthest you've been from home? I dunno, florida?


that was gay.

its been a fast weekend..i dont like it, but hey i have no homework, me and amy joy got to talk, i made her a sign..umm watched ATM allll yesterday and now i get to have to wake up at frickin 6:30 in the morning...crap

1 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[20 Feb 2005|10:29pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

  • Dear Heartbreaker

 

  • Tell me why its so hard to let you go and forget bout the pain and hurt you caused me
  • I try and try again to put you in my past but yet you keep coming back and act as if nothing happend and everything is okay.
  • the crazy thing is..i actually thought that u loved me, i was hurt and decieved but i cant take anything back
  •  if i could, id erase the day i met u. i hate you so much but yet i cant seem to let you go.
  • I think about you all the time and the times we had together, i thought that you were real and were different..but stupid me got tricked and didnt realize that you were like every other guy.
  • I cant get you out of my head, no matter how hard i try or what i do, the fact that u hurt me comes back. the pain u caused me changed my life but you dont even realize it cuz your gone, u left without a good bye, u left me with the kiss that changed everything, it was ur way of saying that we were throught, it was ur kiss of my death.
  • The moment I think im over you, you come crawling back in such a discreet manner, even the best of the best are fooled, and you fooled me.
  • I know that what im doin will only lead me to get hurt over and over again but when i get with you i cant say no and walk away.
  • You hurt me, but in some way its a feeling i want to stay because the fact of leaving you behind kills me.

 

                  

                          Love always,

                                Ellie, AKA " prey "


2/20/05 - written by ellie goodrow

1 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[19 Feb 2005|10:47pm]
  QuizFarm.com
Result of Quiz :: Music Recommendation
   
truechemistry
You scored as Emo & More.



Emo and Screamo.

Emo & More

100%

Classic Rock.

75%

Indie Rock

54%

Indie

54%

Punk and Pop Punk.

46%

Hip Hop and Rap

46%

Mainstream

42%

Ska

38%

Industrial

33%

Country

29%

Hardcore

17%

Britpop

8%
  
Cut and paste options to display your results:



Mwahaha u know u like that.
 
YOu all love me im awesome
</b>


Look at the stars.

[18 Feb 2005|05:59pm]

yay :) I must say that 106 $ did me some good, and surprisingly i still have money left over...thats a first - I got like 3 tops, one thats like a baby doll shirt for summer ( pink ) and sweater thing type thing from AF and a " if u love something let it go " shirt from HCO and i still have to go back and get my tote too..the guy in hollister was freaking hot as ever. as soon as i walked in he goes " can i get that in ur size for u" he asked me like 5 times. im like " ur hot " ...well not really but in my head i did. he looked like 13.

amy- the gay foriegn guy was there today too. i like ran past him .

 

cYmBaLbAm07 (3:45:04 PM): HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

amykins4128 (12:14:26 PM): HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLIE I LOVE YOUUUU

bubleosunshine06 (5:56:43 PM): HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

 

 

8 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[18 Feb 2005|12:44am]
Happy birthday to me Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me - im 16 wow...

15 years past seems like forever
4 have gazed. Image hosted by Photobucket.com Look at the stars.

[23 Jan 2005|07:12pm]
preemo

how fun am i







she said goodbye w/o looking back
Look at the stars.

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